Reasons for Recovery

Since school has resumed for me, things with regard to my recovery have become difficult and I have found myself slipping back into my ‘security-blanket’ of behaviors. Despite the sick sense of satisfaction a part of me feels about that, I know it’s not what is going to get me recovered. At many points throughout the recovery journey, it is so easy to forget why the heck you are even doing all of it in the first place. As soon as you forget, Ed will quickly jump back in and try to steer you further away from the chance of remembering. If you find yourself slipping down the treacherous slope of relapse, remember what you are ultimately trying to recover. As soon as you remember, write all the reasons down and post that list somewhere easily accessible. By writing it down you will not be able to forget and Ed won’t be able to keep you from remembering. Weathering a storm and trekking through uncharted territory is always easier with a ‘lighthouse’ to guide you back into the right direction. Let your Reasons for Recovery list be that lighthouse. Below is my list—and might I add—it is still in progress. Whenever I become aware of another reason to recover, I make every possible effort to write it down before Ed tries to smother it once again. What’s on your list?

Reasons For Recovery

  • To be able to run again without worrying whether I will faint again or have a cardiac event
  • To be able to have a child
  • To improve my relationship with my husband improve and make better than ever before
  • To be able to go out to eat and socialize without breaking down and overcompensating.
  • To be able to eat in front of others
  • To not feel anymore irregular heartbeats, skipped beats, and feel dizzy and lightheaded
  • To have healthier skin
  • To not have to frequently check my pulse
  • To be able to actually listen to what someone is saying to me
  • To not live in a constant fog
  • To feel happiness again
  • To be able to laugh so hard my sides hurt
  • To be able to give blood
  • To feel strong again
  • To be able to concentrate and excel in my graduate studies in order to become the most effective counselor I can be
  • To have healthier, thicker, and stronger hair
  • To be able to not think about food all of the time
  • To be able to enjoy foods I once loved
  • To have strong bones
  • To be able to write the poetry I used to always write
  • To be able to concentrate on learning the banjo
  • To be able to save more money
  • To not have to worry about health
  • To feel warm again
  • To enjoy fall and winter like I used to
  • To be able to sleep better
  • To be able to say I did it

 

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